Lost my temper this week in a way I’m not proud of. Nothing dramatic, a sharp tone and a couple of words that landed harder than I meant, pointed at someone who deserved better. The flash was over in 30 seconds. The cold distance afterward hung around a lot longer than the 30 seconds that caused it.
I’ve had to learn this the hard way about blowing up. The explosion is loud. The silence after it is what does the real damage. Most of us blow up, feel terrible, and then say nothing, hoping everyone forgets. They don’t forget. They file it. And the people who love you start holding a little more of themselves back, just in case.
So the debrief is about the hour after. Anger is going to happen to all of us. What matters is the choice you get once the adrenaline clears, between pretending it didn’t happen and walking back in to own it.
So this is the Friday debrief, two honest questions.
When I lost it this week, who caught the blast that had nothing to do with what I was actually mad about?
And have I gone back and owned it with them, or am I hoping it blows over?
Going back to someone and saying “I was out of line, and you didn’t deserve that” will not make you look weak. It’s one of the most respected things a man can do in his own house. The blowup teaches people to brace around you. The repair teaches them they’re safe with you even when you’re human.
So who do you need to go back to this weekend and make it right with?
Next week we’re back, Monday with the new episode and Tuesday with a reset.
If you’re a guy who keeps blowing up over small stuff and you’re done with it, this is the exact thing we built for it. The 5-Day Fix is 5 short video lessons, about 7 minutes a day, on defusing the surge and repairing the damage: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/start-your-5days