The Power of Saying Sorry: An Act of Mindfulness and Connection

Sep 01, 2023

Happier, Healthier, and More Stress Free in 2023!

#36 of 52 The Power of Saying Sorry

An Act of Mindfulness and Connection

Hello again, Jon Macaskill here, retired Navy SEAL Commander turned Mindfulness and Leadership coach from Frogman Mindfulness and the Men Talking Mindfulness Podcast.

Welcome to this week’s edition of “Happier, Healthier, and More Stress Free in 2023!”

I got pretty upset with my kids this week - over some relatively minor things. It wasn't their fault - they were just being kids! The situation was totally MY fault and once I took a step back, realized that, took a breath, and said, "Hey kids, I just messed up. This is all my fault and I'm so sorry!" I could instantly see the change in them and we had a MUCH better day!

Similarly, from my experience, one of the most powerful things that can ever be said by a leader in the Navy SEAL Teams, a community where trust is paramount and lives are on the line, is "I screwed up!" That simple admission - be it as a father, a leader in the SEAL Teams, or elsewhere - is NOT a sign of weakness; instead, it's a demonstration of responsibility, accountability, and leadership. It tells your team that you are aware of your actions and are committed to doing better. This principle of accountability is universal and can be applied in all aspects of our lives, from our personal relationships to our professional endeavors.

Why Is Saying Sorry So Difficult?

Our ego often gets in the way. We fear admitting our faults will make us look weak or diminish our worth in the eyes of others. This is a natural defense mechanism but often a counterproductive one. Holding back an apology can rob us of the chance to make things right and build stronger connections.

Mindfulness and Apology

Being mindful means being aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It requires acknowledging the wrong we've done, not as a sign of weakness, but as an essential step towards growth and understanding. It invites us to pause, reflect, and choose our actions wisely—making an apology a profoundly mindful act.

The Anatomy of a Genuine Apology

Acknowledgment - Accept that you've made a mistake.
Sincerity - Make sure your apology is genuine and not just a tool to smooth over a situation.
Specificity - Clearly state what you're sorry for to show that you understand the impact of your actions.
Remedy - Offer a way to make amends, demonstrating your commitment to learning and growing.

The Ripple Effect

You'd be surprised how much a simple, heartfelt apology can do. It not only heals wounds but often strengthens the bond between people. It triggers a ripple effect of mindfulness, encouraging others to be more aware and compassionate in their actions and words.

How to Start

Daily Reflection - Take a moment each day to reflect on your actions and identify moments where an apology may be warranted.
Practice Self-Compassion - Remember, it's okay to make mistakes. What's important is recognizing them and making amends.
Make the First Move - Don't wait for the other person to reach out. Take the initiative to apologize.

Saying "sorry" can be a challenge, but it's also one of the most potent expressions of mindfulness. It allows us to recognize our humanity and the humanity of those around us, inviting understanding, compassion, and deep connection into our lives.

Until next time, let's all strive to be more mindful in our interactions, owning up to our mistakes as a pathway to growth and improved relationships.

Bonus: Mindful Exercise for Apology

To help you integrate the practice of apology into your life, try this simple mindfulness exercise:

Find a Quiet Space - Sit in a quiet, comfortable space where you won't be disturbed.
Close Your Eyes and Breathe - Take a few deep breaths to center yourself.
Reflect - Think about a situation where you believe an apology is due. Visualize the person and the moment.
Feel the Emotion - Let yourself feel whatever emotions arise. Observe them without judgment.
Articulate the Apology - In your mind, craft a sincere apology. Use the "Anatomy of a Genuine Apology" points from above as a guide.
Plan the Action - Make a commitment to yourself to deliver this apology at the earliest appropriate opportunity.

Community Corner

Here's what's new and/or coming up:

Podcast Alert: In the latest episode of "Men Talking Mindfulness," we had a great discussion about the role mindfulness plays in political discourse and society. If you missed it, be sure to catch up! Listen here. (In podcast form Monday, 4 September)

Final Thoughts

Mastering the art of a heartfelt apology is an ongoing journey, but it's one that offers endless rewards. From improved personal relationships to a more peaceful inner world, the benefits are significant and far-reaching. Let's embrace the challenge of saying "sorry" as a cornerstone of our mindfulness practice, enriching not just our lives but those of the people around us.

Remember, mindfulness isn't just about meditating or being present; it's about being aware enough to acknowledge our faults and brave enough to make amends.

Call to Action

If you have a story or experience about the power of saying "sorry" that you'd like to share, I would love to hear it. Send me an email or join the community discussion on our social media platforms. Your insights are valuable, and your voice matters!

Wishing you a week filled with reflection, growth, and meaningful connections.

Train hard, breathe easy,

Jon

Frogman Mindfulness and Men Talking Mindfulness

PS - Looking to Invigorate Your Organization?

I would be honored to serve as a speaker at your next event, sharing the transformative power of mindfulness and meditation in action. Reach out today to learn more!

PPS - If you found this newsletter beneficial, please consider sharing it with a friend, family member, or colleague who might appreciate it too!

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